I met the friendliest cop last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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