Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
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I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
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If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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