Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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