when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize