Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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