she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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