Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize