Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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