And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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