Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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