You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
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idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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