(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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