Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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