one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize