HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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