there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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