When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
People in love make me want to vomit
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize