Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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