their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize