what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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