I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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