I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize