My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
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She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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