I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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