bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize