My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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