Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She announced her abortion via fbk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize