Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize