i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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