put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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