make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize