You're my little dorito
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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