i barfeds in our rink
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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