Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Randomize