My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You ate ashes out of my bong
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