WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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