Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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