Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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