Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize