how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think i scared a bird with my dick
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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