pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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