I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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