Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize