Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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