he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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