Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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