Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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