I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize