i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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