like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize